The Ed Eppley Experience
The Ed Eppley Experience

Episode · 1 month ago

Coach, Mentor or Counselor

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

If we are committed to getting better, who is going to help us? Do I need a coach, a mentor or even a counselor? In this Minilog I explain the difference between these valuable resources as well as how you would know which one might be right for you. Getting the right person to help you in your development is crucial. This four minutes can make your decision more simple.

Welcome to the Ed Epley Experience Minilog let professional management expert Ed Epley inspire you to take action onbuilding a more sustainable, smart and healthy business. Hey everyone, it's atEppley our you today. The question for today's mini log, do I need a coach, amentor or a counselor and don't answer that you, I know you're listening andsaying all three but I thought it would be good to talk through the differencesand perhaps give you insight as to which one of these might be appropriatefor which kinds of situations. Let's use some definitions first to getstarted. A coach is someone who instructs or trains. They're a privateteacher who give someone lessons in a particular subject. And yes, I lookthese definitions up. These are not my words, these are Miriam's dictionary orsomebody like that. I can't remember...

...which one but I wrote these down. Soand just the act of coaching in of itself is a process to improveperformance. A mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor and a counselor isa person who is trained and I think we can infer formally trained to giveguidance on social personal or psychological problems. So let's startwith the last one first. You know, there's this connection betweenthinking emotions and our behavior. So my behavior will be a result offeelings or emotions that I have which come from thoughts that I have orthinking that I have or stories that I tell myself and so I think we can allprobably envision certain people that we know in our lives who, who theirbehavior is not really in their own best interest and in order for thatbehavior to change. It's not enough for them to be coached. It's not enough forthem to be mentored. They actually need a trained counselor to help them unpackthe reasons that they think certain...

...ways that subsequently caused them tobehave the way they do. And so that counselor could be a psychiatrist, thatcould be a psychologist and for those of you who care to know the difference,like psychologist cannot prescribed drugs where a psychiatrist could, sothere's different levels of treatment that could be involved. But my pointsimply is that sometimes counselors are needed in order to help unpack uncoverthat thinking that's really getting in the way of our behavior being. What weideally needed to be mentors are those experienced and trusted advisor. I haveto admit, I do mentoring frequently and I appreciate being put in a positionwhere I'm viewed as as trusted and respected and have experienced in anumber of different areas that relate to management and leadership. They'regenerally not paid and a lot of people who mentor others do it because they'vebeen mentored by someone else. So it's an act of paying forward and in mostcases the relationship is driven by the mentee, the person being mentored andit only works when the mentor respects...

...the mentees motives and theirwillingness to improve. There's a term called protege and proteges are peoplethat someone is trying to help along in their career, but that's because theyhave a vested interest in that person's success. Mentors would not typicallyhave proteges in the people that they're mentoring because they reallythey're not going to be affected negatively or positively based uponwhat happens in that mentees life so they can give more objective and honestopinions. And that's why I think you want to mentor. In many cases a coachthen is someone who's going to instruct or train me. They're going to be thisindividual who gives me lessons. You know, they're going to give meassignments, they're going to evaluate those assignments. They're gonnaactually in effect grade them and they're going to make us do things thatare uncomfortable. They're gonna push us outside our comfort zone. Most of usneed that. So a mentor probably would never do that and they don't haveauthority if you will you're not giving...

...them permission to make thoseassignments for you or to you but somebody's coaching you, you wouldprobably be expecting them to do that. You would probably be wanting them todo that even though, you know, it's going to be uncomfortable. So let'sreview those three options we have in our lives. Again, one's a counselorthat helps us deal with that problematic thinking that prevents mefrom either seeing reality like I should or gets in the way of mebehaving like I really should to be more effective. A mentor is someonethat I trust and respect, who's going to give me advice in certain instances.Give me their suggestions or ask me questions to make me think. But theyreally have no vested interest in the outcome of the result and they're doingit because they want to pay back if you will pay forward others who have beengood to them and doing a similar thing and then the coach is going to besomeone who teaches me. They give me assignments, grades, my performance andprobably routinely makes me uncomfortable pushing me outside mycomfort zone. My goal for you is that you use the right tool to help youimprove your performance and if you...

...need help in uncovering where you mightneed that help, remember you can go to the Epley Group website, take our freeassessment and I'll give you some feedback based on those results. We cantalk through what areas might be of help for you or most important for you.That's our mini log for today. Thanks everyone talk to you next week. Thanks for listening to the ed F leemini log visit W W W. The Epley Group dot com for resources tips, adds latestblogs and a free assessment on where to improve your professional managementskills.

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